10 habits of happy couple!

Doing some research on the Internet, I came upon this article and I thought it was well written. It resonates with what I have been writing all this time. I believe this article doesn’t apply only to married couples but to anyone who is in a loving, long and committed relationship. Dr. Mark Goulston was very gracious in allowing me to re-use it.

10 Habits of Happy Couple!

What does it take to be happy in a relationship? If you’re working to improve  your marriage, here are the 10 habits of happy couples.

1. Go to bed at the same time Remember the beginning of your  relationship, when you couldn’t wait to go to bed with each other to make love?  Happy couples resist the temptation to go to bed at different times. They go to  bed at the same time, even if one partner wakes up later to do things while  their partner sleeps.

2. Cultivate common interests After the passion settles down, it’s  common to realize that you have few interests in common. But don’t minimize the  importance of activities you can do together that you both enjoy. If common  interests are not present, happy couples develop them. At the same time, be sure  to cultivate interests of your own; this will make you more interesting to your  mate and prevent you from appearing too dependent.

3. Walk hand in hand or side by side Rather than one partner  lagging or dragging behind the other, happy couples walk comfortably hand in  hand or side by side. They know it’s more important to be with their partner  than to see the sights along the way.

4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode If and when they  have a disagreement or argument, and if they can’t resolve it, happy couples  default to trusting and forgiving rather than distrusting and begrudging.

5. Focus more on what your partner does right than what he or she does  wrong If you look for things your partner does wrong, you can always find  something. If you look for what he or she does right, you can always find  something, too. It all depends on what you want to look for. Happy couples  accentuate the positive.

6. Hug each other as soon as you see each other after work Our skin  has a memory of “good touch” (loved), “bad touch” (abused) and “no touch”  (neglected). Couples who say hello with a hug keep their skin bathed in the  “good touch,” which can inoculate your spirit against anonymity in the world.

7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning This is a  great way to buy some patience and tolerance as each partner sets out each day  to battle traffic jams, long lines and other annoyances.

8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel This  tells your partner that, regardless of how upset you are with him or her, you  still want to be in the relationship. It says that what you and your partner  have is bigger than any single upsetting incident.

9. Do a “weather” check during the day Call your partner at home or  at work to see how his or her day is going. This is a great way to adjust  expectations so that you’re more in sync when you connect after work. For  instance, if your partner is having an awful day, it might be unreasonable to  expect him or her to be enthusiastic about something good that happened to you.

10. Be proud to be seen with your partner Happy couples are pleased  to be seen together and are often in some kind of affectionate contact — hand  on hand or hand on shoulder or knee or back of neck. They are not showing off  but rather just saying that they belong with each other.

Happy couples have different habits than unhappy couples. A habit is a  discrete behavior that you do automatically and that takes little effort to  maintain. It takes 21 days of daily repetition of a new a behavior to become a  habit. So select one of the behaviors in the list above to do for 21 days and  voila, it will become a habit…and make you happier as a couple. And if you  fall off the wagon, don’t despair, just apologize to your partner, ask their  forgiveness and recommit yourself to getting back in the habit.

All Rights Reserved to Dr. Mark Goulston


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