Kim from Sunset asked me what she could do to keep a man around. She seems to always lose them at a certain point. She doesn’t understand why since she doesn’t know how to say “NO” and is pretty accommodating by saying “YES” to most things. Then she goes on, angrily, to explain that she, as a woman, deserves better anyway. Well, I don’t think we deserve better/more just because we have a pair of breasts or perhaps because we are breathing.
Just like men, we have to earn it. We have to be nice enough (not all the time), good enough, kind enough and hard working enough. We need to shift from the mentality that women are automatically superior and men are bums. To say that we are entitled to everything is wrong.
Be the kind of woman that men don’t want to leave. You have to assess what he needs, what any man needs, in a woman and evolve to that. That’s your security. The same applies to man, where his woman is concerned. If your man is a normal man, he’ll do anything to rise to the occasion and be the man you expect him to be. You may not be as good as you need to be in order to keep a particular man and in your case, from the information you gave me, you choose the wrong men to be with, in the first place.
When you pick that kind of men, they don’t respect you and take advantage of your kindness. To be nice and accommodating doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat. Say NO when you need to. Don’t make other people feel good at your expense, or from fear of feeling bad.
Don’t have the good girl syndrome where you have to be nice to everybody/your men all the time. A good girl needs to be bad sometimes and learn to say NO like a man….. which is not a bad thing. When men say NO, that’s it. But when women say NO, it seems the answer is open for negotiation. No more, say NO forcefully and stick to your answer. You will be respected a lot more and the bums you seem to pick, will be less inclined to stick around for too long.