When “it” doesn’t rise to the occasion ….

BetrayalRejection*Sophia is 34 years old and her boyfriend is 42. They have been dating for nine months. He’s kind, sweet, giving, and intelligent, and always has her best interest at heart. In summary: a total gentleman. They have fun together, they laugh a lot, and everything is perfect except one thing: the lack of sex.

Her boyfriend doesn’t seem to have much of a sex drive; and when, at her request, they make an attempt to get intimate, he has a tough time performing and “it” doesn’t rise to the occasion. For the past six months he has been promising her that he’ll seek medical advice, but he never has. She’s tired of waiting and wants to know how long she should wait for him to seek medical help before she calls it quits.

Answer:

You should have left about four months ago. Stop wasting your time with this guy. When people are interested in changing the status quo, they make an effort. He’s not interested; if your goal is just companionship, your current boyfriend is perfect but since you want a normal, loving, and sexual relationship, he’s not the right guy. Let him go, pronto! Stop wasting your time with Mr. Wrong.

 

*Names have been changed for privacy

Happy Mother’s Day!!

mothers_day_cartoonI am returning to write after a short hiatus and I choose today because today is a very special to me: it’s Mother’s Day. My mother died when I was two years of age so I have no memory of her but I had a quintet of mothers – my little girlfriend’s mothers – who fulfilled this role very well and for that, I’m extremely grateful. As I get ready to make a phone call to all my mothers back in Brazil, I leave you with a little note I wrote my friends yesterday, who are also mothers. Happy Mother’s Day to you and if you are a StepMom who also fulfill the role of mother to a kid/kids that came with the marriage, I honor you today as well, after all, a child doesn’t have to come out of our own body for us to love, some of us should simply love a child or children, because they’re in our lives and because a little love, goes a long way to make a difference in a child’s life. Happy Mother’s Day ladies.

“To all you Moms, have a super happy Mother’s Day and continuing good luck on this intense course because when we become mothers, we begin a very intense course on how to learn to love someone more than ourselves, on how to become selfless, on how to change our own shortcomings to be someone better in order to be a good example, a role model to the being (or beings) that we are borrowing.

This intensive course teach us to have courage because to be a mother is one of the biggest acts of courage we have to learn. Courage to be exposed to all kinds of hurt especially the uncertainty to be acting correctly where the children (child) are concerned and be afraid to lose someone we love so much. To lose? How? Well, you will learn in your course that our children aren’t really ours, they are simply gifts lent to us. We borrow them for a little while, usually 18 years, so we can nurture, guide, discipline, encourage and love them. After that, it’s time to let them fly the nest so they will then have a chance to absorb, grow, mature and apply everything we taught them.

Meanwhile enjoy this wonderful journey with your special gifts (gift) and once they fly the nest, you will treasure all the moments you had with them.

Much love to you all, cristina”

PS: as English is the fourth language I learned, my grammar sometimes lacks, so I apologize in advance if the mistakes I made today offend your sensibilities but my editor is off today … you know, Mother’s Day :-)

The cartoon image: all rights reserved to Steve Nease,

 

 

You’re worth it!

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Tiny Love Stories – 3

pink, white and red candied heart spinkles on white backgroundMore tiny love stories on the site makesmethink.com. Hopefully it will warm your heart and make you smile!

* My dad is the best dad I could ask for. He’s a loving husband to my mom (always making her laugh), he’s been to every one of my soccer games since I was 5 (I’m 17 now), and he provides for our family as a construction foreman. This morning when I was searching through my dad’s toolbox for a plier, I found a dirty folded up paper at the bottom. It was an old journal entry in my dad’s handwriting dated exactly one month before the day I was born. It reads, “I am eighteen years old, an alcoholic who is failing out of college, a past cutter, and a child abuse victim with a criminal record of auto theft. And next month, ‘teen father’ will be added to the list. But I swear I will make things right for my little girl. I will be the dad I never had.” And I don’t know how he did it, but he did it.

* I have an elderly patient who is suffering from a severe case of Alzheimer’s. He can rarely remember his own name, and he often forgets where he is and what he said just a few minutes beforehand. But by the stretch of some miracle (perhaps the miracle of love), he remembers who his wife is every morning when she shows up to spend a few hours with him. He usually greets her by saying, “Hello my beautiful Kate.”

* My 21 year old Labrador can barely stand up, can’t see, can’t hear, and doesn’t have enough strength to bark. But it doesn’t stop her from wagging her tail a mile a minute every single time I walk into the room.

* Today is our 10th anniversary, but since my husband and I are both recently unemployed we agreed not to get each other any gifts. When I woke up this morning, my husband was already up. I walked downstairs to find beautiful wild flowers brilliantly arranged all over the house. There must be 400 flowers total and he didn’t spend a dime.

 

 

The Best Cities for Single Women

Online DatingThe editorial staff at ASW’s SMALLMAGAZINE  wrote the best top ten cities in the world for single women. These are their picks!

10. Tokyo, Japan

Better educated, wider travelled and higher earning than ever before, ladies here aren’t rushing into marriage or children any time soon. Nicknamed the parasite singles by the older guard and blamed for the shrinking population, they’re advancing their careers and letting men know that the kimonos are off. Just not literally. Moving here means avoiding the crush of Spring weddings, an abundance of single men looking for a lady to say yes, and all the trappings of a group of friends with disposable income. If that sounds like your cup of miso, Tokyo’s where to go.

9. San Francisco, California

The most number of cupcake shops per capita in the US and the second lowest obesity rate. Clearly climbing all those hills transforms you into ’that girl with the glutes’ even with a devil’s food addiction. And the city is bursting with single men. Granted 15% of those can be struck from the list of potentials immediately – given the flourishing gay community – but that party-hard posse make perfect wingmen in the meantime. Plus Mount Tamalpais State Park, with 6300 acres of wild grasslands, is just 20 miles away and provides a speedy escape from the ding of the trolley bell.

8. Zurich, Switzerland

A fast-paced financial centre in a quaint package. You’ll find pristine streets, pathologically punctual public transport, urban sailing on Lake Zurich, and close proximity to the Alps and some of the world’s best ski resorts. If you’re looking for a trendy hipster with tattoos and skinny jeans, look elsewhere, but if the suited and slick upwardly mobile are your (Gucci) bag, try the city where everything runs like clockwork.

7. New York, New York

Nail spas on every corner, brunch being very much a thing and generous pay packets (it’s home to 40 Fortune 500 HQs), the city is a haven for the single woman. The men are international, ambitious and reliably forward, and the social scene is easier to navigate than many other big cities as the transient locals are always looking for new friends. But be warned: while the NY dating scene is thriving and you’ll never have the same night – or man for that matter – twice if you don’t want to, the male:female ratio is unfairly skewed in the men’s favour. And you’re competing with a whole country’s worth of women wanting to make it big in fashion. What we mean is: prepare to feel inadequate on the regular.

6. Paris, France

Take an art course, go to the opera, cycle around with a baguette and brie in your basket – the cliché activities for a lady in Paris are endless and easily achievable. As for the men: they’re frequently perfectly groomed and be-cuff-linked, plus they value their women as much as their quality of life. The laughable 35-hour workweek is glorious enough in itself, but the increasingly neglected art of chivalry is very much alive as well.

5. Austin, Texas

This offbeat Texan town has been described as the capital for creative singles. It boasts high quality, low cost accommodation, and for those with entrepreneurial aspirations, was ranked best city to begin your career, due to a supportive venture capital environment. And on top of year-round sunshine, according to a Marie Claire survey, the single man to single woman ratio is 12:10. We’ll take those odds.

4. Milan, Italy

Fine wines, fashion and unabashedly persistent men: Milan seems to have it all. Nicknamed the New York of Europe, it has the liveliest job market in the country, energy-efficient and government-funded urban regeneration programs and a welcoming social scene, primarily made up of well-tailored men with slick haircuts. Talk about having your panna-cotta and eating it too.

3. Melbourne, Australia

Named the world’s most livable city by the Economist, Melbourne is distinguished by its cultural and artistic scene. But what makes it a secret woman’s paradise is the inexplicable discrepancy between the attractiveness of the sexes. It’s not uncommon to see a bronzed column of man wander by with an somewhat average woman on his arm. One who decided to ditch the beach and eat meat pies instead. We’re not claiming that this is the case across the board, but looking around the impeccably groomed ladies of Manhattan, we’ll take our chances in Melbourne.

2. Stockholm, Sweden

Sweden is the first ranked egalitarian country in the world
Alternated paid maternity leave, unisex bathrooms (minimizing excruciating ladies lines), equal TV airtime for male and female sport, and the creation of the first female friendly car, which includes a dent in the headrest for ponytails. Plus, according to one study Swedish men do more housework than anywhere else. So if you dream of settling down with a Scando who can simultaneously serve a Smorgasbord and give a Swedish massage: Stockholm’s got them in stock.

1. Shanghai, China

If you want to get statistical in finding a man (and let’s face it, if you’ve tried online dating, you already have), consider this: in 2020 there are predicted to be 24 million single men in China. Given Shanghai’s cosmopolitan nature and increasing number of multinational corporations, guys are flocking here. And there’s little not to love: ballroom dancing on the street, champagne brunches, even 24hr street teddy bear vendors for low-cost cuddling. And if the dating game grows tiresome, head to People’s Square Marriage Market on a Saturday to meet a mate.

Happiness!

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What is a good relationship?

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Rules of the Day!

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Rule of the Day

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Beauty!

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