Being in a relationship is not always fun

There is this certain actress who I used to admire because she was a fierce advocate for children with special needs. But once she started saying that her son had been cured of Autism and that vaccines give children Autism, she lost her credibility with me. I knew I no longer could listen to her, especially because I, myself, have a child that is under the umbrella of Autism. I, also, am around families with children who have high functioning Autism. I learned that we don’t need to look much farther to know where our children inherited their autism from. That said, last night I was at a friend’s home and there was this actress, again, on the TV screen. This time she was talking about her relationships and when the host asked her when “she knew,” it was time to pull the plug on her while-ago marriage. Her priceless answer was, “When it wasn’t fun anymore!”

Fun? Since when are relationships always fun? On the contrary, real life happens and it’s not fun all the time. My aunt (who was married for 44 years before my uncle passed) always told us growing up that marriage wasn’t always fun. It was hard work. Every once in a while, it is fun when your hard work pays off and you get a moment of great satisfaction. That’s rewarding and worthwhile. You choose to make your life as joyful as possible to those around you and yourself. Sometimes that is a lot of work and not always fun; but those are the things that bind us together and make humans capable of making a difference in this world.

It is a great disservice to men and women to tell them if they are not having fun anymore, it’s the sign that the relationship is over. It’s downright disheartening that many people might listen to that selfish, self-serving advice. I believe it’s definitely not true. I have been married before and I would have rather had joy, fulfillment and purpose in my life than “fun” any day of the week.

Let’s uplift our thoughts each day from selfishness, and may that inspire us in directing our thoughts to happily serving our spouses, children, family and friends; not to fun.

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