Can people change in a week?

*The person didn’t want to be identified, thus she came up with her own pseudonym.

*“Wanting Him Back,” in Saratoga, is 33 years old and has been with her boyfriend for five years. Her boyfriend, she says, has a “lying problem.” In her words, she says, “He’s more like a pathological liar.” Her boyfriend always has a way to lie here and there; but the biggest lie was dealing with his job transfer. They transferred him to another town and he said he wasn’t taking that job. However, WHB was just told three days before his leaving, that he indeed took the job 350 miles away. In another instance, WHB had to go to the hospital to have a lumpectomy and her boyfriend told her he was coming back to take her to the hospital. He lied. He also asked her to move in with him in the new town so they could be engaged. He lied, again. Meanwhile, she gave up her nursing job and moved to be with him. After she moved in, he wanted her out within a month. She had no place to go and ended up moving in with her parents in another town and just recently found a new job. Now, he’s back, telling her he made a mistake and wants her back. He told her he is a changed man and he can prove it to her. He’s staying in WHB’s town for one week before he leaves to return to his town and plans to take her with him. WHB is asking me, “I love him. Is it possible for my boyfriend to show me, in a week, that he has changed?”

WOW!! In the olden days, men would (as throughout the entire animal kingdom) have to prove their worth to their women before they would even be looked at, much less accepted. These days, some women act more like beggars than the choosers we are supposed to be.

NO. Nobody changes in a week. Change takes time. Stupid behaviors can probably be changed in a week. Certain behaviors can stop, but lifelong habits take longer. Deep, set, neurotic behavior patterns, as in lying all the time, take longer.

Face it, when someone is a pathological liar, he/she won’t change. In order for him/her to change, it would take a lot of psychotherapy. It is what it is; don’t hope he or she will change because they won’t. When you ignore things, you are stuck with them. Don’t be stuck with him, WHB. Thank your lucky stars that you are not married to him. Now, send him off his way girlfriend …. by himself!

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