Would you date a family member's ex spouse or boyfriend?

Wondering in Corte Madera, wants to date her ex-husband’s sister’s ex-boyfriend. He has shown interest in dating Wondering and she would like to go for it but has some reservations, she doesn’t know if it would be ok.  She would like to know if I know any website where there are ethical guidelines on how to be an ex and pursue a relationship with an ex-ex.

There is nothing unethical or immoral about it but it gets everyone angry. These are ex-husband, ex-sister-in-law, ex-boyfriend (or baby-daddy), and I don’t know how concerned you are about some of them being angry because people do get angry. She was intimate with him, she made two babies with him and it’s embarrassing and uncomfortable. That’s just human nature. Understand that while”there is nothing morally wrong” with it, it upsets people because emotions have no rationality or IQ.

It doesn’t matter if he’s an ex-boyfriend, it doesn’t matter if this is a friend’s ex, or a ex-sister-in-law’s ex, doesn’t matter the relationship – when you know people and they break up with somebody; for you to get involved with the person they’re no longer with, makes the circle a little too tight. It makes people uncomfortable, embarrassed and concerned about conversations behind their backs plus rejection or being dump and whatever the hurts were the cause of their break up, having all of that being involved too closely, it’s not a good idea because generally when we break up with somebody we hope they go to the other side of the universe.

You don’t need a website for this; all you need is common sense, even if you ask her if it’s ok to date him and she says it’s ok, it’s not going to be ok. The relationship doesn’t matter what matters is that you all know each other and your smaller world will be even tighter.

To see your ex-boyfriend with your ex-sister-in-law is uncomfortable but if you don’t mind that people will get annoyed with you, go for it. I personally wouldn’t, the imagery wouldn’t leave my head.

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