Do we women really need men?

I wanted to write a post about this today after hearing countless times how men are scumbags, how they are threatening, how they are woman-beaters and after seeing on someone’s status on Facebook: “a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle”*.

I don’t believe in this feminist slogan that men are superfluous to women’s needs even though some women think so, especially the ones going to a sperm bank looking for sperm to get impregnated or getting knocked up out of wedlock on purpose but wanting nothing to do with men. Well, men’s services are needed for their sperm right? That’s a need nonetheless.

I don’t necessarily need a man. It is not necessary for my physical survival. But people in general need human interaction, and personally, the interaction for me is going be with a man. I love men. I think men are wonderful creatures who many times enhance our lives. I love men, especially when I get home and there is one who’s coming to see me because at the end of the day, I’m his refuge. I love men because they love me back. I love that one special man in my life who treats me kindly, who holds me tight at night, who kisses my head many times, who strokes my face and tells me I’m the most beautiful woman he has ever seen (even if his reading glasses are right there laying by the nightstand). I love when my man, just before closing my eyes, whispers in my ear how much he loves me. I love that my man makes me laugh and keeps me safe.

I have always been independent—I have my own money and I don’t need to financially depend on a man. But if I will ever marry, then yes, I will be dependent on him just as he will be dependent on me. In different ways we will be dependent on each other. The happiest of marriages are often the ones where a couple can depend on each other in different ways.

Perhaps my rose-colored view of men comes from being taught early on by the men-folk back at my country that one of the worst things a woman can do for herself is to be financially dependent and sleep around with one too many men. The latter in particular can hurt the heart and soul of some women. It can cause a woman to become jaded and desperate, and when they’re desperate they don’t make good choices about the men they go out with.

After going out and laying on their backs for too many men and having none of the encounters turn into real relationships, they start to think that all men are bad when in fact, their bad choices on the men they went out with lead them to where they are. They have no one else to blame but themselves. After all, this is a free country and no one is sold into marriage. We can actually make our own choices about the people we go out with.

Phrases like “men are scum”, put down men. Let’s stop the put-downs, on either side. We need each other. That’s why we are different. Our differences should complement us and not divide us, so let’s talk about men in an elevated manner or at least in the same manner that we would like to be referred to as women. We get upset – at least I do – when men and media talk smack about us, so let’s reserve the same right to them and not accept put downs where they’re concerned either.

Note: The phrase, “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle” was not coined by Gloria Steinem even though people attribute it to her. In fact it was Irina Dunn, an Australian educator, journalist and politician, who coined the phrase back in 1970 when she was a student at the University of Sydney. She satirized the philosopher who once said that “Man needs God like a fish needs a bicycle.”

Comments

  1. As usual, you are so on point! Love how you put things into perspective regarding how we need to be more responsible for our own actions and how we choose to navigate our course through this wonderful life. There is so much more to experience with the skills of self love, self respect, self discipline. When we become what we seek all those around us will help to mirror what we desire.

    Love your spirit and strength or character Cristina!

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