Her husband is hiding his finances …. not a good plan!

Scared in Novato told me she married a man who refused to discuss finances with her before marriage. Now, even after marriage, he won’t share how much he makes or how much debt he has. They have separate accounts and he already told her that they will be filing their taxes separately, too. She has a constant queasy feeling about this and a pain in the pit of her stomach that refuses to go away. She doesn’t know what to do.

I don’t think Scared should have signed up for that. One should never marry under these criteria unless specified it in a pre-nuptial (or had a verbal) agreement before marriage, which is not her case. She went blind into this. Once you are married in the State of California, it is community property. His assets are half yours and his debts are half yours, too.

For Scared, it is a bit late because she already married the guy. But for those of you who haven’t married yet, it would be foolish on one’s part to sign yourself to a life where he would never share his finances with you. Don’t go into a relationship blind because it can put you legally at risk with the IRS. He could claim he is paying his taxes and it may not be the case. Then when things go terribly wrong, the IRS will be garnering the wife’s wages to pay for HIS debts. It happened to one of my dear friends and it devastated her finances.

Scared, this is a deal breaker. Tonight when he comes home for dinner, you need to be strong, look him in the eye and tell him, “That’s a deal breaker.” You share food, your bodies, toilette paper and the roof over your heads. You need to share all the financial information, too; otherwise, it is a deal breaker. If he still refuses, you know what you have to do. I, myself, would be ready to pack up and leave. If you don’t take care of business, you will be at risk of losing a whole lot more than just his respect. I wish you well with that.

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