Infidelity rises when she makes more money than he does.

*Mark has been trying to get his entrepreneurial business off the ground for the past six years while his wife is the bread winner and spends a lot of time at work. They have been together for 8 years; but three weeks ago he found out that his wife was having an affair with her boss. Even though he felt incredibly hurt by her betrayal, he decided not to leave and give the marriage another try. However, he is turned off by her sexually. Every time he looks at her when he wants to be with her, the image of her and her boss comes to his mind and he can’t be turned on. He wants to know why she did this to him and what to do to get passed that.

Mark, I don’t know your wife and I can only speculate why she did it. One thing that I did learn when I used to be in the health industry was that infidelity happens more frequently when the woman makes more money or when the woman is the bread winner. Sometimes after the veil of love is removed and real life intrudes, it’s tougher for the woman to see her man as a “MAN” because she is the boss.  She doesn’t see her man in a good light. She doesn’t see him as the stronger one; the hunter; the protector. But to know that for sure, you have to not be afraid and have a conversation with her. You need to face whatever the answer is.

According to your email, you decided to stay. I am sorry Mark, but I don’t have a brilliant answer for you. The fact that you’re feeling crappy and can’t forget what happened is perfectly normal. You’re a human being, what you’re feeling is a normal and natural response, however, since you decided to stay, you’ll just have to endure those feelings until you get past it. It’s going to take some time and as the time passes, you won’t feel as hurt but you will never forget it. Remember not to keep reminding her of her indiscretion. It’s not fair because, after all, you decided to stay. We all have choices in life and you made yours.

After you have a frank conversation with her, and you find out exactly why she cheated, it may be a little easier to get past the betrayal, or it may not. Perhaps you will make another choice about your marriage entirely. Good luck.

*Names have been changed.

Speak Your Mind