It’s hard for nice ladies to get a decent man today

*Jade, from Santa Rosa, annoyed me today. She’s 38 years of age and has been with her boyfriend for 8 years now. In the beginning of the relationship her boyfriend lived with his mother two hours away and Jade would drive to see him every weekend and on holidays. After three years, she grew tired of all that travel (since he never went to visit her) and packed up to move where he lived; then she, too, ended up living with his “mommy”. Fights would ensue between his mother and her until Jade convinced him to move and get a place of their own. They moved in together. The bills are being paid 50/50 (sometimes she pays more) but she still does the majority of the work and takes care of him just like his Mom used to do. She has grown tired. She thought once they moved in together he would change; but two years have passed and everything is still the same. She’s tired and she’s angry with him all the time. They fight constantly. She doesn’t know what to do.

Answer: How sad. The level some women set up for themselves today are so low that it is no wonder there are so many men today who don’t want to do the heavy lifting. Why should they? They have so many easy and desperate women willing to travel/drive for hours to “screw” them, even if the guy is not independent and lives with his mommy. These freeloaders don’t have to commit anymore because they can hump the girls like you, Jade, and then have you scrubbing their toilettes, too, without any expectations.

Desperate and pathetic women like Jade make it harder for nice ladies to find a good man because there are no expectations anymore. Men don’t have to rise to the occasion. A long time ago, a man would never dream of asking a woman out unless he was independent, had a place to live, could support a family if he choose to, and had a good job. If he felt like having sex, he would go to a prostitute and would use her services. Not anymore. Now they have women like Jade who travel to “do” them without expecting anything in return and the men don’t have to do anything to earn the pleasure of her company either. All he has to do is wake up in the morning.

So, Ms. Jade, since you don’t know what to do, here it is. I’ll tell you what to do. Since you’re the one doing the majority of the work (cleaning, doing the heavy lifting, and paying half of the bills) kick him out of your place. If he refuses, then you need to take care of business. Make sure all the utilities are in his name, pack your stupid bags, and get to a friend’s home or your family’s. Get to somebody’s place other than his. Hopefully you are not pregnant. And don’t make the same mistake that many women make: “I thought if we had a baby, he would change or would marry me.” Yeah right. And don’t talk to him, EVER.

You’re 38 years old; and after eight years, I do hope you leave for good and decide not to waste any more time with this loser. You are not going to get those years back; but, hopefully, you’ll learn to set expectations and a higher standard for yourself. People usually say that life is too short not to be happy, but that’s wrong. Life is too short to make dumb decisions and not rectify them, especially if it’s going to impact your life in a negative way later on. Have the courage to follow through with the changes and decisions that will be better for your own well-being.

*Name changed to protect her privacy

 

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