Claire in Belmont has a fiancée who doesn’t protect her from his mother. He is an only child, his mother is a very strong woman, who often talks down to him, puts Claire down and when she talks to him about that, he says he’s sorry but doesn’t do anything about it. It is very tiresome to have to defend him to his mother all the time or have his mother take Claire on while he watches helplessly. Right now they are on a break from each other but she loves him and wants to know if I could tell her anything to make the situation better.
Claire, since you guys are on a break, I think you should take a permanent brake. Go date somewhere else. Your fiancée is a momma’s boy and according to what you told me, he has found his hit woman: you! He doesn’t have to take his mother head on; he now has you to do his job for him. You have already talked to him about this and he has done nothing. He’s afraid of his mother. If you get married, his mother will be interfering in your married lives, you will be having fights with her and with him, and the saddest part of all, he will not stand up for you. A real man protects his woman from anyone who wants to hurt or harm her. Period. Marriage is not easy and because you love him, it’s not the most important thing, love is NOT enough. Strength and character, these things ARE important.
I am sure he’s one of the nicest men on the Earth but that doesn’t mean he’s marriage material, at least for right now. The relationship between him and his mother needs to mature, he needs to mature and do something about his mother but he’s not at that point right now. One last thing: you told me that you guys had a conversation when you took a break, and he told you that he knew he needed to work on the relationship with his mother but he didn’t know if he ever could. Claire, that conversation should have been your ticket out of town. Please, start dating somewhere else as soon as you can.