Do people change?

Corrine from Hayward told me she has been dating her boyfriend for a year. He was married for 24 years to his ex-wife, who he often cheated on throughout his marriage. Her parents and siblings have told her that people around town told them that her boyfriend is famous for being a stalker and a peeping Tom. She thinks that he’s a good man, that if he did what he did, it must be because he was very unhappy in his marriage and was looking for something that he was lacking in his marriage. She believes people can change. What do I think?

I don’t even know where to start. I’m frightened for this gullible woman who, at the tender age of 46, should know better. She has been warned by the most important people in her life. I believe when more than one person starts saying the same things about another person, we really need to listen. I understand that there are women who, when they want a man, will let nothing come between what they want.

Corrine, listen to your parents. He was unhappy and you think he found what he wanted in you? It’s like murderers in prison who find women who know what they’ve done but marry them anyway. The women think the murderers “just weren’t happy” before, but now “they find happiness in me” and will change. Really?

Corrine, you think you’re special enough that he won’t do any of his previous behaviors again? I am sure his ex-wife thought she was special too, and really hung on for a long time. I guess her love, caring and attention weren’t enough to make him stop his inappropriate behavior ways.

You have been warned. You can choose to listen to your parents and siblings and leave this poor excuse of a human being, OR you can stay and have the fantasy that, with you, he’ll be different. I would pick the former. However, I’m just a stranger that you don’t know but asked for an opinion from anyway. I wish you well.

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