People's true character reveals itself under pressure!

Waiting For The Next Meltdown in San Mateo wrote me a lengthy email. She said she has been with her fiancée for four years. He’s a very nice, sweet and caring man but when he is under stress or pressure, he has a tendency to explode at the littlest things and she often gets the brunt of his anger. When he is under pressure or stress, she walks on eggshell with a pain in the pit of her stomach, just waiting for his next meltdown. She stresses in her letter that he is “really, really nice” otherwise. She is wondering if I think, he’ll get better as he matures.

Miss, there are nice guys out there. You said he was nice, and caring, and sweet. I have my doubts. Reading your letter I don’t think what you described is a nice man. You see people’s true character when they are under pressure, duress, stress, whatever you call it. When people are under pressure and they still act nice, then you know you got something good but when they blame, deny, get hostile and mean; that’s not the way you want to live your life. Well, I wouldn’t be able to live that way for four days, but I do understand, some people have a bigger threshold for pain.

You need to ask yourself if that’s the way you want to spend the next 25 years of your life, constantly being afraid to say anything that may trigger his wrath and constantly feeling bad about yourself. If your answer is no, then you need to push the eject button and take these four years and file them in the “lessons learned” in the file of life.

Remember that we should get together with people who bring joy and happiness to our lives and not to people who bring us down.  Lucky you live in a free country and weren’t sold into marriage, thus you can actually choose who you want to be with. Exercise this right today.

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