We should all strive to find a compassionate and kind life partner!

Newlywed in SoMa, got married three months ago but for the past four weeks her new husband stopped being “romantic” with her and when she asked for “romance”, his answers was always the same – “working hard and very tired”.  Two days ago, after a heated argument she pressed him to answer why he didn’t feel like making love to her anymore and he finally told her the truth – he said he was no longer attracted to her because she had cut her hair. To him her haircut was too short, ugly and the short hair made her unattractive to him. He went further and told her he could not even get aroused by her.

“Gasp”. Really? He cannot get aroused because of your haircut? I don’t even know what to say. The only thing that comes to my mind is one of my girlfriends who had cancer. When she was losing some of her hair, as she took her showers, her fiancée would get into the shower and wash whatever hair she had left. I remember once, while visiting her at her house, she was seating in a chair, while her fiancée would gently comb her almost non-existent hair; stroking it, telling ME, how beautiful she was and in spite of the ravages the chemicals were doing to her body and hair, she was still the most beautiful woman he ever saw. He was kind, attentive, sweet, compassionate and very loving. At that moment I silently prayed to be so lucky and find a man like that. That’s the vision that kept coming to my head as I was reading your lengthy email – of that sweet man kissing my friend’s head while combing whatever hair she had left in her head.

I am sorry Newlywed but apparently you didn’t marry this kind of man and a man who’s going to tell you that he’s no longer turned on by you because of your hair do – cruelty aside – then he doesn’t love you, he is incapable of love. God forbid one day you should need someone that sacrificial, compassionate and loving; you will be in trouble because you didn’t marry that kind of man.

You should tell him my girlfriend’s story and I think you ought to think if you made a mistake marrying this guy. I wonder if anyone in your family or one of your friends ever warned you about him. Can you imagine if you fall sick someday? We don’t really look good when we are seriously ill and if he’s cruel, withholding affection because of a stupid haircut, can you imagine when you will be at your lowest and ill? If you are not pregnant, were I in your shoes, I would seriously consider repairing this mistake. A guy who says that and mean it, there is something wrong with this dude.

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