Here is a little condensed letter from Janet (she allowed me to use her name) from Millbrae: “My boyfriend asked me to marry him last week. I said yes, but as soon as the novelty wore off, I began having second thoughts. I value my independence; I don’t really want to get married and risk losing it. I want to be able continue doing what I’ve always done—whether that be biking, yoga, or hiking—on a whim, without having to constantly check in. I really do enjoy having a boyfriend but he really wants to get married. What should I tell him?”
I know that I, personally, would be willing to sacrifice some of the freedom to do anything on a whim to have a loving husband or partner—and I consider myself to be pretty independent! Now, if you don’t want to give in even a little bit, then you’re going to find yourself either alone or in a relationship in which your boyfriend resents you. Because the truth is, while you may like having your boyfriend around as just that—your boyfriend—he presumably wants a family and a committed life with you, in which case you need to let him go.
In the Winter of your life, your yoga class won’t be there to give you an aspirin when your head is killing you, your biking won’t be there to listen to you after a long day, and your hiking won’t be there to kiss you good morning and hold you at night. Think instead about the day you are hiking with your husband and you fall down and injure yourself; he’ll be there to give you a hand and help you out. He’ll hold you, soothe you, stroke your head, and he will look in your weathered face, thinking it is the most beautiful one he has ever seen, he will tell you how much he loves you and how being with you has made his life happier. You have a decision to make and only you can do that, no one else can. I hope I have given you a different view. Good luck, dear!!