Happy Mother’s Day!!

mothers_day_cartoonI am returning to write after a short hiatus and I choose today because today is a very special to me: it’s Mother’s Day. My mother died when I was two years of age so I have no memory of her but I had a quintet of mothers – my little girlfriend’s mothers – who fulfilled this role very well and for that, I’m extremely grateful. As I get ready to make a phone call to all my mothers back in Brazil, I leave you with a little note I wrote my friends yesterday, who are also mothers. Happy Mother’s Day to you and if you are a StepMom who also fulfill the role of mother to a kid/kids that came with the marriage, I honor you today as well, after all, a child doesn’t have to come out of our own body for us to love, some of us should simply love a child or children, because they’re in our lives and because a little love, goes a long way to make a difference in a child’s life. Happy Mother’s Day ladies.

“To all you Moms, have a super happy Mother’s Day and continuing good luck on this intense course because when we become mothers, we begin a very intense course on how to learn to love someone more than ourselves, on how to become selfless, on how to change our own shortcomings to be someone better in order to be a good example, a role model to the being (or beings) that we are borrowing.

This intensive course teach us to have courage because to be a mother is one of the biggest acts of courage we have to learn. Courage to be exposed to all kinds of hurt especially the uncertainty to be acting correctly where the children (child) are concerned and be afraid to lose someone we love so much. To lose? How? Well, you will learn in your course that our children aren’t really ours, they are simply gifts lent to us. We borrow them for a little while, usually 18 years, so we can nurture, guide, discipline, encourage and love them. After that, it’s time to let them fly the nest so they will then have a chance to absorb, grow, mature and apply everything we taught them.

Meanwhile enjoy this wonderful journey with your special gifts (gift) and once they fly the nest, you will treasure all the moments you had with them.

Much love to you all, cristina”

PS: as English is the fourth language I learned, my grammar sometimes lacks, so I apologize in advance if the mistakes I made today offend your sensibilities but my editor is off today … you know, Mother’s Day 🙂

The cartoon image: all rights reserved to Steve Nease,

 

 

Happiness!

Blog19

What is a good relationship?

Image via iStockphoto2

Rules of the Day!

red hearts

Happy New Year!!!!

May the New Year brings love, health, happiness and prosperity to you and yours!!

my very best, cristina

It’s never too late to fall in love!

I think Ms. Waitt article is cute, so I asked permission to share. So here it is.

By Cynthia Waitt

Love is fabulous at any age, but being an older bride last year at 54, who had been at the altar twice before, did present some challenges. As I successfully worked through those challenges, I’ll lay out a few ground rules for the older bride or even the older groom. See if these don’t make some sense…

1. SAY YES TO THE DRESS — This is important. It’s your day, even if it’s not your first day, or second. You don’t want to say “bride” too loudly, but you want something that makes you feel beautiful. I spent so much time going back and forth on whether to order the gold mid-length strapless dress I loved that my 29-year-old son took my credit card, filled out the form and pressed the send button.

I still wasn’t sure it was right and I was worried about the “strapless” part of this perfect dress, although now, having spent more than I could afford, I was stuck. Then something strange happened on plane back from New York the day our film “Bully” opened in New York. I don’t usually hang out with major designers, but some of my family do, and two of them showed up that day on my brother’s plane. As I was sitting across from Naeem Khan himself and his beautiful wife, Ranjana, I decided to take the risk and show him the dress. He studied it and pronounced it fitting, as did his beautiful wife, who as I found out later, rocks strapless dresses all the time. The day of my brother’s wedding, (yes, the dress did appear twice that summer), Naeem actually approached me and said, “The dress looks fabulous on you, and you’ve accessorized it perfectly”. I decided I could now die a happy woman. So, find the right one and die a happy woman.

2. BE CREATIVE IN YOUR CHOICE OF OFFICIATES — This is also important. I’m a lapsed Episcopalian and I was married twice by the same priest. At the second one, he politely suggested that this be the last he perform. Fair enough. I was happy with the justice of the peace and two witnesses, but my mother, who thinks you aren’t really legal until a priest steps in, wondered if our priest (different guy this time) couldn’t just say a blessing. My husband is Jewish, not particularly religious, but he balked, and rightfully so. No priest, unless we had a rabbi too, he pronounced. As the rabbi was not available on the day chosen, and because it was starting to sound like “A Priest, A Rabbi and a duck go into a bar,” a judge it was and all was well. So, consider your options — in California, anyone can do it for $25, perhaps a ship captain, airline pilot? I do like the unusual best though. My personal favorite was a gay Wiccan wedding performed by a tarot reader wearing a vintage 1935 dress. That’s absolutely true, you couldn’t make that one up.

3. DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT A DOUBLE WEDDING — I bring this up because we had an unusual situation in our family, where my brother and I got both married within 3 weeks. Some poor unsuspecting person who knew that thought it might be a cute idea to do a double wedding. I pulled out my Blackberry, did a quick image search and showed her the other Waitt bride of 2011 — tall, blonde, stunning, 30’s and on the cover of Maxim magazine, and said, “Would you stand up next to this?”

4. CONTROL THE PICTURES — I really like my camera. It’s a good one, but it tends to be somewhat soft focus (a must for older humans being photographed). I considered a pro, particularly when “Bully” director Lee Hirsch told me he would be in town on the date of my wedding. But Lee likes to film up close and personal (watch his films) and I can’t hold up to that at my age. He does do a fine job of photoshopping, as he has done for me, just on his own. “C-Way, I photoshopped you in this one….”

Also, ban all other cameras. Don’t you hate those people who come loaded and ready, shoot really horrendous pictures of anything and anyone, and then post them on Facebook? You don’t want that kind of thing to live forever. Ban their cameras or better yet, ban them.

5. IF YOU ARE EVEN CONSIDERING SOME SORT OF COSMETIC PROCEDURE, REMEMBER….MODERATION IN ALL THINGS — You don’t want to look like what my brother calls “wind tunnel” ladies. Watch the botox! If you get too much, your eye droops. Mine did. That’s why I’m standing so far back in the pictures. Overlarge sunglasses could help with a botox overload. So again, control the photography and if you need extra help, Lee could do some photoshopping. However, now that he’s such a big shot, you couldn’t afford him. I couldn’t either.

6. HAVE IT THE WAY YOU WANT IT — Don’t let anyone tell you where to get married, how to get married, or who to marry. If you are consenting adults and old enough to know what you are doing, do it, and don’t worry about what the neighbors think. Remember, it’s about love, and because it’s about love, it’s not wrong. And, in love, like most things, it’s also never too late.

Bliss!

Women who are ball busters.

*Clark, from Alameda, was married for 10 years then got divorced. He spent the last 11 years raising his three daughters – two biological and one from a 10 year relationship he had with a woman after his divorce. All three girls were about the same age at the time (between 9 and 11 years old) when he met his girlfriend.

Twelve years later he met his new wife and he has been married to her for the past 4 1/2 years. To this date he maintains a relationship with the third daughter, today a young woman, since he is a father figure to her and his two daughters consider her like “family.” They all get together for birthdays and Christmas to exchange gifts. His intimidating, angry, and manipulative wife throws a fit every time he talks about this relationship or when he goes out to meet with her and his two other daughters.

Last night, when he came home after meeting the three young women, his wife flew into a rage. He told her he doesn’t want to get rid of the girl because she is like his family. At this, the wife replied that if she ever divorced him, his relationship with her two teenage boys, which he has been raising, will be terminated. Apparently, she told him that she asked 20 of her friends and they all agreed with her on this. He wrote me to ask what he can tell his wife to make her accept that he loves this young woman like his other biological daughters.

My answer:

Oh boy, it seems you chose poorly. You married an unreasonable and territorial BITCH. A loving woman has an open heart, especially where children are concerned; whereas your wife is willing to hurt her boys’ relationship with you simply because she can. So what if twenty of her wacky friends agree with her? (If she’s to be believed.) The fact that twenty people walk in locked step doesn’t mean they’re right.

You need to call a meeting to order. Then look her in the eyes and tell her: “if you continue with the whining and complaining about this, our relationship is not going to continue. I have been a father figure to her. This relationship is important to me and my daughters; and if you can’t embrace that, then I made a mistake marrying you.” If she decides to throw in the towel, then so be it. But you do have a choice and I bet this is not the first time your woman has muscled you into doing something unreasonable. Women like that have a pattern.

I wonder what the problem is that you could not find a soft, warm, sweet, gentle, and feminine woman. I am sure there are tons of them reading this right now and wondering, what the hell is wrong with you that you chose such a bitch.

I will never understand why some men marry women who are such ball busters. They don’t add joy and happiness to one’s lives because they’re too busy busting their men’s balls all the time.

 

*Name changed to protect his privacy

Glad the holidays are over!!

I loooooove the holidays! All that cooking and baking and family and friends around – so much love … but I am glad that the holidays are over now. I got myself a migraine headache the size of the 50 States, at 4am on Jan 1st. It was a gift from a half glass of wine and four sips of champagne on new Year’s Eve. It kept me flat on my face and in bed until this morning. It was such a bad episode that I was not even able to look at a cell phone screen much less at a computer. At one point I thought if the migraine didn’t leave me soon, how horrific would be for my children to have to find my remains. That’s how horrid I was feeling but hey, finally today at 7am, I was feeling chirpy again and ready to write my heartfelt message to my readers (4 days later) who filled my email box asking me “what’s up with no blog posts”. Sorry folks, I’m back and finally this morning, just being able to lift my carcass out of bed felt great. I’m a few pounds lighter too, a migraine will do that to you – not a good thing. I’m all ready to go.

Today I am just going to wish you all a wonderful New Year, filled with prosperity, happiness, peace in your lives; love in your world and greater health to enjoy it all. Back tomorrow with regular posts, until then …..

make it a great day!