The case of Monica Lewinsky … time for her to finally get a life!

Monica copyright MarkSeligerMonica Lewinsky has resurfaced this week, again. I wanted to write about this immediately; but I had to stifle myself because if I did write as soon as I read the excerpt of her article on Vanity Fair, all I would have done was start a rant that would go on and on. I wrote this post on Wednesday but had a few days to trim it down, otherwise it would be too long.

It has been almost 20 years and I’m still ticked off by this woman’s story. At the time when her so- called “friend,” Linda Tripp, betrayed her, the world found out that she was having an affair with President Clinton.  Once I heard the news, I remembered discussing it with my then husband and all we could think was that our very young daughter one day could have been in that same very vulnerable position: the big boss who’s older, more experienced, charismatic, making inappropriate goo-goo eyes at our daughter and she, a fresh faced, naive, immature, young woman, ready to take the world by her hands would fall prey to a man who is supposed to know better.

At the time, the press rung Ms. Lewinsky out to dry. We could not turn to a channel and not see the face of that young woman, fresh faced, huge smile, and lustrous hair. The press vilified this young woman. Even then President Clinton would not acknowledge his mistake and instead of calling Monica by her name, referred to her as “that woman.” What surprised me was not even did Gloria Steinem, Barbara Walters, or even Diane Sawyer come to this young woman’s rescue and publicly defend her. All the feminists went radio silent. She was barely 22 years old, a time when a young person’s brain is not even fully formed, and no one publically defended her by putting the blame where it should have lied: squarely on Mr. Clinton’s shoulders. He should have known better.

Instead of defending one of their own, the so-called “feminists” did what women usually do when a woman falters her steps: they came down hard on her. At one point ten of those so-called famous New York feminists (of whom were authors, television writers, magazine editors, fashion designers and a restaurateur), gathered together to discuss the salacious details of the story like a bunch of gossipy teenage girls. What is incredulous is that no one saw the man for what he was, which was a man who had the ultimate responsibility. She was HIS intern; therefore he was in a position of power as her boss and on top of that, he was the leader of the free world. Which young girl would have said NO? Instead of placing responsibility where it should have been, they vilified this girl while discussing why the President didn’t wear a condom, where were the stains, and yes, they would do him, too. They all sided with Clinton, publicly humiliated her, and slut shamed her, letting that young woman drown. Even Hillary Clinton called her names instead of placing her husband’s head between two frying pans and hitting him really hard. That was unacceptable but we all know why she blame Monica. It was the easy way out and if she din’t, she would have to make a decision about her marriage so like many women before her, it was easy to blame the other woman, in this case a wide eyed young woman.

To me, Maureen Dowd (The New York Times columnist) was the worst. In the beginning of the story she was defending Lewinsky; then she buckled under the pressure and started to join the others by throwing rocks at Lewinsky and writing obsessively about the case. As times passed, her articles became nastier and nastier. The woman was brutal. She ended up winning a Pulitzer Prize for the trash she wrote.

I think throughout the years Monica Lewinsky has shown great restraint and grace. She didn’t cash on her circumstances, which she could have. Her life has not been a bed of roses. Can you imagine her going on a date? We all have a past, and we all are not proud of something. However, we get to keep our secrets, while hers are known worldwide. Who knows if the experience has soured her forever about romantic relationships? Looking for a job… Can you imagine going to an interview and knowing that they “know” what you’ve done? Living day to day, hand to mouth,  borrowing money from relatives in order to live? I cannot imagine, and yet, she didn’t cash in on her fame.

Now at 40 years old, I’m glad she decided to come out and own what happened to her so she can take the power back. I hope she does stop thinking about the feelings of the Clintons and start looking after herself. I hope she writes a book. I hope she develops a line of lipstick, hair products, or anything where she can finally make some decent income. Why should she stay in the shadows forever so the powerful Clintons can go on about their lives as if nothing ever happened? It’s time for her to own her life and damn anybody else who won’t like it!

Are we erasing humanity? I hope not.

Image via iStockphoto 4I wrote this blog post last year when I watched the three time Oscar nominated film Her. Her is a film in which Joaquin Phoenix plays Theodore, a shy and lonely man who, due to his impending divorce, purchases a computer with a  talking operating system (OS). The OS is equipped with artificial intelligence, designed to progressively become more human-like. As time progresses Theodore becomes mesmerized by the OS’s ability (who he has taken to calling Samantha) to mimic human behavior, to the point where the two have deep discussions about life. He and Samantha fall in love.  As the relationship progresses, both he and Samantha develop feelings beyond primary emotions—they experience jealousy, and Theodore at one point even becomes upset when she goes “offline” with another OS to be upgraded. Upon Samantha’s return, he learns that she is not only the OS for thousands of other people, but has also fallen in love with hundreds of other humans. In the end, she leaves him to do her own thing in cyberspace. Lonely and sad again, Theodore goes to his friend Amy’s apartment to talk to her and finds that she, too is upset as her own OS has left her as well. The movie ends with the two sitting together on the roof of the apartment, smiling at each other, getting closer, and admiring the city lights.

My curiosity with this movie was to see how the director would address this need for people today to replace real human interactions with technology. Like everything else, technology hast both positive and negative effects. Technology makes our lives easier—more effective and convenient—that much is true. But I believe it has no place in replacing human interactions and that’s where our society will be headed if we don’t start making changes real soon.

Her’s premise is reminiscent of Internet dating. There are certainly some success stories (I personally know three couples who met on dating websites and ended up happily married), but most of the time, it seems like a disaster. Everyone I personally know who posted Internet dating profiles told me stories that were sad and sometimes astonishing. Throughout the years, I have interviewed many people who were involved with Internet dating, and conducted an informal online survey regarding participant satisfaction with the medium. The results I gathered indicated that, overall, 85 percent of the people participating in online dating were dissatisfied, 10 percent were somewhat satisfied, and 3 percent were satisfied or happy with their experience. Though this survey was informal, the results are still pretty telling.

I will state right now that I never particularly cared for Internet dating. I feel it erases humanity. I’m all for face-to-face contact. We live in an age where people have forgotten how to relate to each other, especially with this juvenile, texting crap. Everyone is wired to their iPhone®, Android®, or other device and it seems they can’t go anywhere without constantly peeking at it during meals, personal conversations, even while out on dates. So annoying! People are unable to resist checking in at the trendiest locations in town, or looking at their device to see if any new email has arrived or if anyone has responded to their Facebook® or Twitter® status. People are personally disconnected despite being electronically over-connected. It also seems as if there are more posers, players, and liars.  People on dating sites lie about everything: age, weight, location, even their profession. Or they massage it to make themselves look better. People also lie about their life in an attempt to create a certain impression. They’re all creating a world behind that computer wall where they have the original starring role and are mostly a façade.  There are even professional profile writers (like Joaquin Phoenix’s Theodore) who will make sure that your profile makes you sound like someone everyone will want to meet.

I hear complaints from some women in my talks that men they are interested in no longer call—they text. The men also have their own complaints about finding it hard to get some women to commit to a real conversation. It can be challenging. It’s all about emails or texting. Then there are the people who say they’re “too busy”, so texting is convenient. If you’re answering the text then you’re not that busy and it doesn’t take too many seconds to pick up the phone to make a phone call and leave a message. Later on, the person on the other end can return the call. Since when have we become a society that can’t wait a few hours to have a phone call returned? What’s up with all this anxiety that needs an immediate response? In the olden days, people would leave a message at the person’s home answering machine and later in the day when that person arrived home, that’s when all the phone calls were returned.

Let’s rediscover the beauty of human interactions; let’s stop with all this fakery and hiding behind a technological wall. Let’s get back to basics and re-start truly reconnecting and behaving like the wonderful human beings we are supposed to be. Eye contact, face-to-face dialogue, exchanging of ideas in real time—these are all supremely important to human connections. Let’s nurture that and translate it into our romantic lives. I like to think that when Amy laid her head on Theodore’s shoulder in the film as they both admired the view, they finally realized that they were happy that they found each other: two human beings.



Have a nice Valentine’s Day without breaking the bank with gift giving!

Valentine's DayValentine’s Day is galloping towards us and some people, particularly men, start getting nervous thinking about what to give that special woman in their life. Women are no different. They think men are hard to please on Valentine’s Day … not so fast.

In this time of economic woes, not everyone has money to spare and may not wish to spend too much money on this day. Well, help is on the way. Here is a list of things you can buy, or do yourself, that will make the day memorable but won’t break your bank. You don’t have to go big to have a sweet Valentine’s Day.

1 – Flowers: Instead of the costly roses, choose a beautiful bouquet for her with a variety of colors and flowers. Please make sure there are no carnations anywhere in the bouquet, however. Carnations are best left for funerals.

2 – Chocolate: Unless you know your woman or man likes chocolates, skip this one; but if you must, don’t get the pre-packaged chocolates you get at a supermarket. Next time you are at the mall, go to the local chocolate store and choose 6 of those delicious real chocolate pieces they have on display. Then, they’ll place them in a cute box and you’re ready to go. You may think it’s expensive chocolate, but they’re worth the money and will ensure that he or she will actually eat it and not simply eat one or two and throw the rest away. When the chocolate is good, you don’t need to have an entire box of chocolate. A few morsels of high-quality chocolate is good enough to enjoy.

3 – Dinner: You don’t have to go to the most famous restaurant in your town to enjoy a good dinner. Do both of you enjoy ethnic food? Usually, Thai food is pretty tasty and gentle on your wallet. Don’t like ethnic food? No problem. Don’t go out to dinner. Make him/her a lovely dinner in your home. It will cost you a lot less, and it will be appreciated because it was made by you. Don’t forget to add to the mood: soft music and candlelight are always sure to be winners.

4 – Picnic: Who doesn’t like a picnic? If it’s cold where you are, you have to be creative. Choose a place in your living room and place a tablecloth on the floor, preferably in front of a lit fireplace. If you don’t have a fireplace, then add music and candle lights. If you live in a place where the sun will be shining, lucky you. Go to a pretty park you enjoy and lay the tablecloth on the ground. Open your picnic basket and take out the goodies you both like.

5 – Perfume: Unless you know what your beloved likes, skip this one. If you must give something that has a scent to it, make sure the scent is very faint and clean. Not everyone appreciates strong and sharp scents. By keeping clean and faint, you make sure that the gift will be appreciated.  To ensure the perfume is not going to be re-gifted, try these suggestions: for a man, a nice balm or aftershave (with no alcohol in it) is nice to give. For a woman, if you are not going to give perfume, a lotion or cream will be a winner. I don’t know a woman who doesn’t like hand cream; and remember, subtle scent.

6 – Clothes: There is a lot of good clothing that can be bought for a very reasonable amount of money. If you must buy clothes, choose something that you think your beloved would look good in it and will feel comfortable wearing. Don’t do like my friend’s boyfriend who bought her a garment; and upon opening the package, she was very happy that he gave her “such a beautiful shirt.” Only later was she told that it was … err, a dress. Needless to say, she never wore it. No need to go overboard either. A beautiful shirt for a man can be very reasonable at J.Crew, for example. And one can buy a gorgeous scarf for woman for a reasonable amount as well.

If you have any personal ideas that you know for sure your beloved will like, then implement them and remember that not everyone can celebrate Valentine’s Day on the exact day. If Valentine’s Day falls during the week, make an agreement that you will celebrate either the weekend before or after. It doesn’t matter if you celebrate a few days before or after, as long as you celebrate. Not everyone has the luxury to celebrate on the exact day. My girlfriend is dating a divorced doctor who has children. Consequently, during the week is very busy for him especially if he has the children that particular day. Therefore, since they started dating, they celebrate Valentine’s Day the following weekend after he doesn’t have the children. It works. Good luck and Happy Valentine’s to you all.

Do you want to avoid a divorce? Perhaps this will help you!

Some rights reserved by State Farm Via Flickr

Some rights reserved by State Farm Via Flickr

I often scout the internet for interesting relationships stories and I came up on this one while searching Facebook. Apparently he learned when is all but too late. It is worth a reading.

Obviously, I’m not a relationship expert. But there’s something about my divorce being finalized this week that gives me perspective of things I wish I would have done different… After losing a woman that I loved, and a marriage of almost 16 years, here’s the advice I wish I would have had…

1) Never stop courting. Never stop dating. NEVER EVER take that woman for granted. When you asked her to marry you, you promised to be that man that would OWN HER HEART and to fiercely protect it. This is the most important and sacred treasure you will ever be entrusted with. SHE CHOSE YOU. Never forget that, and NEVER GET LAZY in your love.

2) PROTECT YOUR OWN HEART. Just as you committed to being the protector of her heart, you must guard your own with the same vigilance. Love yourself fully, love the world openly, but there is a special place in your heart where no one must enter except for your wife. Keep that space always ready to receive her and invite her in, and refuse to let anyone or anything else enter there.

3) FALL IN LOVE OVER and OVER and OVER again. You will constantly change. You’re not the same people you were when you got married, and in five years you will not be the same person you are today. Change will come, and in that you have to re-choose each other everyday. SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO STAY WITH YOU, and if you don’t take care of her heart, she may give that heart to someone else or seal you out completely, and you may never be able to get it back. Always fight to win her love just as you did when you were courting her.

4) ALWAYS SEE THE BEST in her. Focus only on what you love. What you focus on will expand. If you focus on what bugs you, all you will see is reasons to be bugged. If you focus on what you love, you can’t help but be consumed by love. Focus to the point where you can no longer see anything but love, and you know without a doubt that you are the luckiest man on earth to be have this woman as your wife.

5) IT’S NOT YOUR JOB TO CHANGE OR FIX HER… your job is to love her as she is with no expectation of her ever changing. And if she changes, love what she becomes, whether it’s what you wanted or not.

6) TAKE FULL ACCOUNTABILITY for your own emotions: It’s not your wife’s job to make you happy, and she CAN’T make you sad. You are responsible for finding your own happiness, and through that your joy will spill over into your relationship and your love.

7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.

Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.

9) BE SILLY… don’t take yourself so damn seriously. Laugh. And make her laugh. Laughter makes everything else easier.

10) FILL HER SOUL EVERYDAY… learn her love languages and the specific ways that she feels important and validated and CHERISHED. Ask her to create a list of 10 THINGS that make her feel loved and memorize those things and make it a priority everyday to make her feel like a queen.

11) BE PRESENT. Give her not only your time, but your focus, your attention and your soul. Do whatever it takes to clear your head so that when you are with her you are fully WITH HER. Treat her as you would your most valuable client. She is.

12) BE WILLING TO TAKE HER SEXUALLY, to carry her away in the power of your masculine presence, to consume her and devour her with your strength, and to penetrate her to the deepest levels of her soul. Let her melt into her feminine softness as she knows she can trust you fully.

13) DON’T BE AN IDIOT…. And don’t be afraid of being one either. You will make mistakes and so will she. Try not to make too big of mistakes, and learn from the ones you do make. You’re not supposed to be perfect, just try to not be too stupid.

14) GIVE HER SPACE… The woman is so good at giving and giving, and sometimes she will need to be reminded to take time to nurture herself. Sometimes she will need to fly from your branches to go and find what feeds her soul, and if you give her that space she will come back with new songs to sing…. (okay, getting a little too poetic here, but you get the point. Tell her to take time for herself, ESPECIALLY after you have kids. She needs that space to renew and get re-centered, and to find herself after she gets lost in serving you, the kids and the world.)

15) BE VULNERABLE… you don’t have to have it all together. Be willing to share your fears and feelings, and quick to acknowledge your mistakes.

16) BE FULLY TRANSPARENT. If you want to have trust you must be willing to share EVERYTHING… Especially those things you don’t want to share. It takes courage to fully love, to fully open your heart and let her in when you don’t know i she will like what she finds… Part of that courage is allowing her to love you completely, your darkness as well as your light. DROP THE MASK… If you feel like you need to wear a mask around her, and show up perfect all the time, you will never experience the full dimension of what love can be.

17) NEVER STOP GROWING TOGETHER… The stagnant pond breeds malaria, the flowing stream is always fresh and cool. Atrophy is the natural process when you stop working a muscle, just as it is if you stop working on your relationship. Find common goals, dreams and visions to work towards.

18) DON’T WORRY ABOUT MONEY. Money is a game, find ways to work together as a team to win it. It never helps when teammates fight. Figure out ways to leverage both persons strength to win.

19) FORGIVE IMMEDIATELY and focus on the future rather than carrying weight from the past. Don’t let your history hold you hostage. Holding onto past mistakes that either you or she makes, is like a heavy anchor to your marriage and will hold you back. FORGIVENESS IS FREEDOM. Cut the anchor loose and always choose love.

20) ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. ALWAYS CHOOSE LOVE. In the end, this is the only advice you need. If this is the guiding principle through which all your choices is governed, there is nothing that will threaten the happiness of your marriage. Love will always endure.

In the end MARRIAGE isn’t about Happily ever after. It’s about work. And a commitment to grow together and a willingness to continually invest in creating something that can endure eternity. Through that work, the happiness will come.

Marriage is life, and it will bring ups and downs. Embracing all of the cycles and learning to learn from and love each experience will bring the strength and perspective to keep building, one brick at a time.

These are lessons I learned the hard way. These are lessons I learned too late.

But these are lessons I am learning and committed in carrying forward. Truth is, I LOVED being married, and in time, I will get married again, and when I do, I will build it with a foundation that will endure any storm and any amount of time.

If you are reading this and find wisdom in my pain, share it those those young husbands whose hearts are still full of hope, and with those couples you may know who may have forgotten how to love. One of those men may be like I was, and in these hard earned lessons perhaps something will awaken in him and he will learn to be the man his lady has been waiting for.

The woman that told him ‘I do’, and trusted her life with him, has been waiting for this man to step up.

If you are reading this and your marriage isn’t what you want it to be, take 100% responsibility for YOUR PART in marriage, regardless of where your spouse is at, and commit to applying these lessons while there is time.

MEN- THIS IS YOUR CHARGE : Commit to being an EPIC LOVER. There is no greater challenge, and no greater prize. Your woman deserves that from you.

Be the type of husband your wife can’t help but brag about.



Happy New Year!!!!

May the New Year brings love, health, happiness and prosperity to you and yours!!

my very best, cristina

Merry Christmas!!!

Have a happy and cheerful Christmas. At these times of uncertainty, may peace and joy be always part of your private world! Many blessings to you and yours!!

People’s personality don’t change once you marry them

*Lauren, in Hayes Valley, has been married for 9 years. When she first met her husband, they dated for a short period of time and then she got pregnant. They married; and after all these years, and three children, she says that his personality has changed and that has built up so much resentment to a point where she can’t stand him. She’s no longer feeling attracted to him since he put on some weight and that turns her off. Everything he does irritates her. When she talks to her girlfriends, they tell her that she should just get a divorce and  don’t “give” it to him, whether he liked it or not, since her husband still finds her very attractive otherwise just suck it up.

Answer: Lauren is very negative about her husband. One would think that she never loved him. Is that why she couldn’t wait to marry him? Was it so bad that throughout her marriage she managed to make three babies with this husband that she’s so negative about? Hmmm….. and now she says his personality has changed, too.

I hate to break it to you, Lauren, but people’s personalities don’t change once they wear “the dress” or the “cummerbund,” unless they have a brain injury, drugs, alcohol, or some kind of brain disease. People’s personalities just don’t change like that. I think it’s fair to say that you married someone a little too quickly and didn’t know him well; but it’s not fair to say that his personality changed.

If I were to take a wild guess, I would say that you probably have your sights on someone else or you are finding people outside your marriage pretty darn attractive. When things are not so hot at home, we tend to gravitate towards interests that look much more attractive than the slob we have at home. Also, your girlfriends’ attitudes suck. Instead of telling you that feeling the way you are is pretty normal and to focus on the big prize, they’re busy telling you how you have to not put up or suck it up.  You have adopted their negativity towards marriage by putting up with, pretending, and longing for what you don’t think you have and suffering about it.

The reality is that if you think you are the wonderful woman and the greatest partner that your husband thinks about, well, think again. It happens throughout any marriage: ups and downs. Sometimes life gets harder. Sometimes we get a little bored. Sometimes we get a bit frustrated with everything in general. We may even get resentful about things that have nothing to do with our partner, but we put it all on our partner because it’s easier. Then we think if only our partner were different, then we would be happy. Then we blame the other person’s personality, too. Not fair.

Instead of blaming your husband’s personality, make a mission to have a good marriage. Start thinking about the positive things that attracted you to him in the first place. Speak up about him to others in positive terms and do things as if you’re still in love with him. Find some older people who have good marriages and ask the women how they made their marriage work. You will be surprised to find out that every man and woman who has been married, or in a long-term relationship, have been through what you’re experiencing.

The way you’ll make it from one point to another is if you start behaving as though you love him with your next breath.  Bring back some of that same enthusiasm you felt when you first met him and you couldn’t think of being without him.  It may take a little while, but you will feel that way again because your actions will bring out your feelings. Good luck!


*Name has been changed to protect her privacy.

Penis size matters

I heard that when a man have a nice size, slightly plumper and a few inches longer than the average, it is pretty nice but when the equipment is too large, it doesn’t always fit and it can be painful. The problem comes when the gentleman who owns the large equipment thinks that just because it is large, all he has to do is show up. That’s lame. At the end of the day, my non-official survey says that “there are guys with cruise ships that can’t dock worth a crap, and then there are the little guys with kayaks that can take it upstream. Whatever the size, it’s gotta be attached to the RIGHT GUY to make any kind of difference to a woman” Willa O.

According to LiveScience Online Magazine:

Contrary to the reassuring catchphrase “size doesn’t matter,” penis size may matter in bed — but only for some women, and for certain types of orgasms.

A new study finds that women who have frequent vaginal orgasms are more likely than other women to say they climax more easily with men with larger penises. Women who tend to prefer penile-vaginal intercourse over other types of sex also say the same, researchers reported online Sept. 24 in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.

Read more here 

Newly married wife doesn’t want to put out

*Jack, from Russian Hill, said that he dated his wife for one year before getting married and she used to be a great lover right before marriage. They have been married for about one and a half years now; but for the past 11 months sex has been rare and far in between. Every time he wants to get “close” to her, it turns into a begging session. When she finally concedes, she just lays there as if she’s doing him a favor. Jack wants to know what he can tell her that will help her go back to the way she used to be in bed and add a little more frequency than once a month. He said he loves her and doesn’t want to say anything that may hurt her feelings.

Answer: Jack “ma man”, since you don’t want to hurt her feelings, then, please don’t say anything and stay in your quasi-almost-non-existent, pseudo intimacy kind of marriage. Make sure not to complain about it either. Let HER continuing hurting YOUR feelings since you don’t want to hurt hers.

Now, if one day you decide to have the courage to face the problem in your marriage, then by all means, open your mouth and talk frankly with her and tell her that you didn’t marry her, or anybody, so you could live like that. Explain to her that having reasonable sex, wanting to make love to your spouse, is part of the marriage vows you two took; and any MAN or WOMAN who doesn’t fulfill that part is neglecting his/her part unless a health problem is present.

Spouses who sexually neglect their partners then come up with the “oh, you hurt my feelings” card when the other partner brings it up, are being manipulative and a bad spouse. When you talk to your wife about this and she brings this card up, do not allow yourself to be manipulated like that. Face it and talk about the situation until you bring a resolution to it.

If your situation doesn’t improve, then you have a decision to make. You didn’t mention kids, so I’m going to assume there are none and since you’re childless, the decision should not be that hard. One thing though, if your love for her is greater than your need to have sex, then welcome to monk-hood, because that’s where you’ll be heading. If the sex is almost non-existent now, I’ll give you one to two years before it stops altogether; but at least you will not have hurt her feelings. Hope you got my sarcasm.


Happy 4th of July!!

Today I honor the country who embraced me and gave me opportunities that my own country didn’t give me. I take personal offense when people from other lands come to America, then for one reason or another go on the streets to protest and raise their own flag. To those people I say that they should think a little more carefully before coming here and start raising their own country’s flag. You don’t spit on the plate that feeds you and if America is such a horrible place that they cannot get what they want or feel they are being mistreated, please, find the near train or bus station, the nearest airport and get your ticket out of the country. Go back where you came from, if your country was so good that you proudly raises its flag here, then why did you leave?

I’m sure all the bleeding hearts here are going to start to say all kinds of “the borders should be open, or anybody should come here, blah, blah, blah…. “, well save it, don’t bother me with that because I don’t care for those comments, it’s not reality. I am here and I am grateful. I believe America is a big mother who has always opened its arms and given opportunities to those who could not find it in their own Motherland and because of that alone, everybody (including me) who come/came here – either because of work and never left, or because he/she was looking for a better life, should be respectful. Do I like the country I was born? Absolutely, but it has been America who gave me the opportunity to do what I wanted and for that I am eternally grateful.

Yes, I’m a Brazilian by birth but I am an American by choice and very proud of it! Happy Independence Day America and may you continue to thrive! Don’t forget to thank a Veteran or any men and women in uniform if you see one!