*Clark, from Alameda, was married for 10 years then got divorced. He spent the last 11 years raising his three daughters – two biological and one from a 10 year relationship he had with a woman after his divorce. All three girls were about the same age at the time (between 9 and 11 years old) when he met his girlfriend.
Twelve years later he met his new wife and he has been married to her for the past 4 1/2 years. To this date he maintains a relationship with the third daughter, today a young woman, since he is a father figure to her and his two daughters consider her like “family.” They all get together for birthdays and Christmas to exchange gifts. His intimidating, angry, and manipulative wife throws a fit every time he talks about this relationship or when he goes out to meet with her and his two other daughters.
Last night, when he came home after meeting the three young women, his wife flew into a rage. He told her he doesn’t want to get rid of the girl because she is like his family. At this, the wife replied that if she ever divorced him, his relationship with her two teenage boys, which he has been raising, will be terminated. Apparently, she told him that she asked 20 of her friends and they all agreed with her on this. He wrote me to ask what he can tell his wife to make her accept that he loves this young woman like his other biological daughters.
Oh boy, it seems you chose poorly. You married an unreasonable and territorial BITCH. A loving woman has an open heart, especially where children are concerned; whereas your wife is willing to hurt her boys’ relationship with you simply because she can. So what if twenty of her wacky friends agree with her? (If she’s to be believed.) The fact that twenty people walk in locked step doesn’t mean they’re right.
You need to call a meeting to order. Then look her in the eyes and tell her: “if you continue with the whining and complaining about this, our relationship is not going to continue. I have been a father figure to her. This relationship is important to me and my daughters; and if you can’t embrace that, then I made a mistake marrying you.” If she decides to throw in the towel, then so be it. But you do have a choice and I bet this is not the first time your woman has muscled you into doing something unreasonable. Women like that have a pattern.
I wonder what the problem is that you could not find a soft, warm, sweet, gentle, and feminine woman. I am sure there are tons of them reading this right now and wondering, what the hell is wrong with you that you chose such a bitch.
I will never understand why some men marry women who are such ball busters. They don’t add joy and happiness to one’s lives because they’re too busy busting their men’s balls all the time.
*Name changed to protect his privacy