Tolerating mean-ness …

Stunned, in Pacific Heights, said her fiance is a nice guy. He’s sweet and kind but has a tendency to be mean not only to her, but to her two children. Well, I am not sure which planet you live on; but on mine, a nice, sweet and kind guy is not mean, especially to the children of the woman who is supposed to be the love of his life.

Your fiance is not nice, sweet or especially kind if he’s constantly mean to you or your children. You would be an irresponsible woman and mother if you brought this despot to your children’s lives. I understood by your description that you seem to find a lot of excuses for his awful behavior.

Tolerating perpetual mean-ness is a weakness that is destructive. It doesn’t matter why or what is causing it. One shouldn’t tolerate it. It doesn’t matter what causes it. If you are alone and feel desperate, you are free to do what you want; however, to bring your children (who you are supposed to protect) into this situation is unforgivable.

You need to ask yourself, “Would it be beneficial to my children?” Probably not. “Will we have a quality life?” I don’t believe so, especially with someone constantly belittling you. “Will it be crazy-making to the children?” Of course. They wouldn’t know when they woke up that day, if they would be in heaven or hell. Not a good plan.

Please give his ring back, walk away and never look back. Get busy with your work and raising your children. You will probably feel much better about yourself. Then remember that having a bad man, it is better not to have a man at all. You will be fine on your own. Repeat that to yourself EVERYDAY and you will believe it.

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