When, if ever, should a former stripper tell her boyfriend about her past?

*Rhonda in San José, was a stripper for nine years. That’s how she funded her education and made some extra money afterward. Today she works in marketing and hasn’t stripped for the past six. She wants to know when, or if, she should ever tell the man she’s dating, that she used to strip. Her experience has been that she goes on a date, then by the third date she tells them, then they disappear or tell her they’re no longer interested. Her company is moving her to another state and she is contemplating never telling about it.

Answer: I think this is a private part of your life that you should keep to yourself. BUT if you ever meet someone that you’re dating for a while (you know that he’s serious about you, both of you are in love, you see that the relationship is going somewhere) then by all means, tell him.

This world has become too small, and information like this needs to be shared at some point because it can come back to visit you. If the person you are with doesn’t know and finds out, then it can become something bigger than it is because he may feel duped or embarrassed. Whatever his feelings are, he may think that a fraud was perpetrated on him and that may be the end of things.

Don’t make a big deal out of it. It’s not as if you are a married woman having an affair with him or hiding a criminal past. This is just stripping. There’s no reason to carry the letter “S” on your chest. Simply tell him that you did it in order to fund your education and once you found a better job, you stopped. Period. If he asks why you didn’t tell him in the beginning, you tell him that is a private matter and is only to be shared with the man who is serious about you and not just anyone you started dating.

*for privacy purposes, name was changed

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