Being a woman of convictions! Learn to say NO!

This is for my sweet, accomplished friend who goes on dates with men she doesn’t like because she’s afraid to say no, who goes on dates with men she likes but never voices her opinions because she’s afraid they won’t like her. When on a date, she smiles a lot and agrees with them, even when she thinks they’re terribly wrong. I asked if that was working for her and very candidly, she said “not at all” because she heard from a friend that the men thought she was actually dumb. Since she has a PhD, I know dumb is not an adjective I would use to describe her. She asked me what she should do. I told her she needed to have convictions and express them; even if they won’t win her a popularity contest.

We all know that nothing in life is terribly clear cut, not everything is black and white, sometimes shades of grey pops up but we have to have a clear idea of what is right and what is wrong.  Once we have a conviction, we embrace it with courage and do not be afraid to say.

We may struggle, hesitate to defend our ideals, our positions, our values and beliefs because sometimes is more important to some of us to avoid seeming judgmental.  People’s perception of us, sometimes becomes more important than anything else. But only we can make the decision to stand up and be a good person no matter what the world around us perceives us to be.

When we don’t take a stand and everything for us is “in the middle“, “is grey”, then we are a wishy-washy kind of person, somebody with no courage, who lives, afraid to offend anybody, or we don’t want anybody mad at us.

At the end of the day we have to decide what kind of person we want to be.  I’d rather leave them thinking that I am over bearing, opinionated, than compliant, weak and dumb.  Be a woman of convictions and voice your opinions. Even if your guy doesn’t agree with you, it will make the discussions more interesting and will challenge him in different ways. Try it, you may feel more empowered as well.

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