Your guy cheated on you, are you good enough for him?

In the past, Lina from Morgan Hills, has had a loving, passionate, kind and sweet relationship with her boyfriend of 2 years, then she became engaged. In the midst of planning the wedding, she found out that he had three sexual trysts with other girls while engaged to her. Lina broke up with the bum and now he has been coming back, sniffing around, asking for forgiveness and trying to weasel his way back into her life. She is having second thoughts. She broke up with him because she felt she wasn’t pretty enough, sexy enough and, in summary, not good enough. That’s why he cheated.

*gasp*! You think you weren’t good enough because he behaved badly? You think if you would be prettier, sexier, he wouldn’t have behaved badly and screw behind your back all while lying to your face and proposing to you? That makes no sense at all and is pretty irrational.  People don’t cheat (or behave badly) because the people they are with are not good enough. They behave badly because  their character is flawed. There is an “event” and there is a pattern of behavior. Three times? It’s a pattern.

We have to be able to look at situations and at people’s behaviors and let them own their behavior. We can’t be responsible for their behaviors because they make their own choices. Now, when he’s coming back and trying to weasel his way in, you should get rid of him if you have any sense. You now know his character, and once you know somebody is not a stand up guy, why would you want to marry and make babies with him?

Not everything in life is about you. It’s about the choices you make. He didn’t cheat on you because you weren’t pretty enough, sexy enough, or whatever enough. Remember the Halle Berry case? She was darn pretty and the guy still ran around with so many women, he lost the count. Notice that there are a lot of unattractive women who have very faithful men, and I know a few. The reason women blame themselves is because if they blame the guy, they have to dump him; but if they blame themselves, they can keep the bum.

Remember, you found out about what his character was all about and not about your looks.


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